January 9, 2010
Airport security is once again in the news. Making headlines now is the controversial full body screenings that can see beneath your clothes. Proponents like them because agents can easily spot any dangerous items someone is carrying. Those opposed worry about possible civil rights violations with images (again possibly) being saved and used in an inappropriate manner. On a recent talk show, Democratic political strategist James Carville, who flies frequently, spoke out and said, “Let me buy a [security] card, then go and measure my penis, and let me get on the airplane.” Fortunately, that is not necessary for security purposes.
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January 8, 2010
Like most engaged couples, Andrea Parrish and Peter Geyer, have lots of planning to do in preparation for their July wedding. But unlike most couples, they have the added burdoun of collecting nearly half a million aluminum cans (approximately 5 tons) to fund the wedding! The idea was born at one o’clock in the morning and grew so strong that Andrea could not shake it – saving the planet AND paying for their wedding. You might think that this great number of cans would allow for a wedding at the Ritz but earning roughly thirty seven cents per pound, they expect to net only $4,000 to $5,000. Enough they believe for a potluck wedding with “DIY decorations”, home brewed beer, and “sword-fighting battle”.
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January 7, 2010
In Zwingle, Iowa, Dick Kleis wanted to spell out to his wife just how much he loved her. For a birthday surprise, he created a shorthand message meaning “Happy Birthday, Love You,” using 120,000 pounds of manure. According to Kleis, it was easy work because he used “the good, soft, gushy, warm stuff . . . that kind of melts the snow.” What was Carole Kleis’ reaction? She said her husband “dung good.”
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January 6, 2010
It was big news in November that Michaele and Tareq Salahi crashed a White House state dinner honoring the Prime Minister of India and then bragged about it on their social media pages. However during the investigation into how this happened, it was recently discovered that a third person also was allowed in without an invitation. While the Secret Service is not revealing the man’s name, it’s rumoured that he is a Washington D.C party promoter. It appears he is a U.S. citizen that was traveling with Indian business leaders prior to the state dinner. He is currently under investigation by the Justice Department to determine if any laws were broken.
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January 5, 2010
Historically the stock market demonstrates investment gains in the long-term. Unfortunately USA Today reports the 2000s are being called the “Lost Decade.” Not because of the popular ABC series, but rather the loss in investment income. This is the first time that the Standard & Poor’s 500-stock index will end a decade with a negative return. In concrete terms, $1 invested in the S&P 500 on December 31, 1999 would have an approximate value of .90 at the close of 2009. Other investments did fare much better these past ten years: $1 invested in bonds would have almost doubled and $1 invested in gold would be close to quadrupling.
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January 4, 2010
Last week AT&T announced it ended its sponsorship of Tiger Woods. In February 2009 the company signed a multi-year agreement with the golfer that included prominent logo placement on his golf bag. AT&T is the second sponsor to terminate a business partnership after the revelation of Tiger Woods’ multiple affairs. Gillette has stopped airing commercials featuring Woods, but still includes him as a sponsor as do Nike, Pepsi and Gatorade.
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January 3, 2010
A new decade is upon us and the burning question thus far is . . . what do we call this year? Is it “two thousand ten” or “twenty ten?” Some newscasters have posed this question on their Twitter accounts. A WCAX reporter took to the streets for an informal poll in New England, with a clear majority voting for “twenty ten,” though many respondents said they’d probably use both options.
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January 2, 2010
News Corporation, the parent company of Fox Television, made an unprecedented demand. They want Time Warner cable systems to pay for the right to air Fox Network programming. While it is traditional for Time Warner to pay for cable channels such as F/X, Fox Sports, and Speed, the local network broadcasts do not require a fee. News Corp was demanding $1 per subscriber and if it was not paid, they would pull their channels from Time Warner subscribers starting January 1, 2010. In what became a very ugly and public battle, Fox used time during its local news broadcasts to urge viewers to voice their support on a specially created website. The absence of local Fox programming would mean no American Idol, Glee, or NCAA and NFL Football. Fox would also lose much of the advertising revenue they had sold for those programs. At the last minute, Fox agreed to an extension to negotiations and an agreement was reached but details are not being disclosed.
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January 1, 2010
What would life be like if your parents named you Yellow Light Breem, Tahiti Starship, or Drift Wood? Apparently this trend is not just limited to celebrities like Ashlee Simpson-Wentz who named her son Bronx Mowgli, or Rob Morrow who named his daughter Tu (get it? Tu Morrow??). The TODAY show recently did a show about people with unique names, and profiled Marijuana Pepsi Sawyer who works as a college counselor. For more odd names profiled, click here.
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December 31, 2009
Hello Daily Limerick Readers! As we wrap up this final week of 2009, we thought this would be a good time to look back on the year and some of the stories that were highly buzzed about. And nothing was more buzzed about than our new president and the entire first family. Barack was memorialized in a Chia Pet and Topps Trading Cards, Michelle was critiqued for her fashion choices, and of course, the nation was in a tizzy wondering what kind of dog the family would get. We hope you have enjoyed this daily retrospective and we look forward to bringing you more News to Amuse in 2010!
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