February 3, 2010
On Sunday, February 6, 2010, the New Orleans Saints will play in the Super Bowl for the first time in franchise history. The team was founded in 1967 and spent their first 20 years as one of the worst teams in the league. In fact, they won only 88 of 284 games for an overall percentage of just .300. All of this poor play prompted local sportscaster Buddy Diliberto to make some outlandish statements. He suggested that fans wear paper bags over their head to disguise their identity. Many of those fans “renamed” the team by writing the “Aints” on those paper bags. Diliberto died in 2005 but some of his faithful following reenacted what he threatened to do if the Saints ever made it to the Super Bowl – Walk down Bourbon Street in a dress! click here for limerick
January 24, 2010
Lazaro Flores was in his girlfriend’s backyard practicing “quick draws” with his .32 caliber 1871 revolver. As he was holstering his revolver, he accidentally pulled the trigger and was treated for a bullet wound to his lower right leg. click here for limerick
January 22, 2010
When strip clubs open for business, often they contend with community protestors. However, the Lynx Gentleman’s Club in Coachella, California experienced a different kind of trouble. The weekend before they were due to open, a goat smashed through the double glass doors and accrued more than $2,000 worth of damage. A review of the surveillance video shows the goat staring at his reflection in the doors for hours and then suddenly rammed against them. The goat was not caught, and the Gentleman’s Club still plans to open as soon as it receives its liquor license. click here for limerick
January 19, 2010
Monroe, Ohio takes community policing very seriously. So when a set of parents at their wits end called for assistance, the police department was happy to oblige. The parents (who have not been mentioned by name) called the non-emergency number to ask if an officer was available to come speak to their 6-year old son. Apparently, the boy – for some time now – has been very resistant to going to school in the mornings. The parents figured if a policeman told the boy that his mother would be in big trouble if he refused to go to school, it might change his behavior. Officer Mike Doughman took the call and it worked like a charm – the boy has merrily gone off to school every day since. Meanwhile, with all the media attention this story received, Officer Doughman has become quite the celebrity! click here for limerick
January 18, 2010
A woman in Columbia, Missouri woke up at 5:45 am and heard noises in her basement. Walking through her kitchen, she noticed that several cabinets were opened. After turning on a light, she noticed a stranger trying to hide behind the water heater. The person then walked past her and disappeared into the dark. The homeowner called the police, and while they searched for clues, they discovered a cell phone in the backyard. They traced the phone to its owner, John Lovell, and arrested him on suspicion of first-degree burglary and stealing. click here for limerick
January 17, 2010
Sal Esposito does not want to serve the jury duty he was summoned to. Not because he does not want to serve his country, but because he does not speak the language. In fact, Sal does not speak at all because he is a feline. When the cat was summoned, Guy and Anna Esposito, Sal’s owners, tried to explain to the court why Sal would not be appearing. However, the court would not accept that “excuse.” The source of the confusion seems to be that on the last census, the Espositos listed Sal under pets and scratched out dog and wrote in cat. Failure to appear for jury duty can result in fines and/or jail time. click here for limerick
January 15, 2010
In Poland, the government became suspicious when a woman who reported to them that she was unemployed, was found spending 13 million złoty over five years. That is approximately 4.6 million U.S. Dollars. While she may not have had a traditional 9 to 5, she was working the late shift on the street. As a prostitute she earned roughly 13.7 million złoty and when she was caught by the authorities, she was fined 2.3 million złoty or $820,000 for tax evasion. click here for limerick
January 13, 2010
NBC and their affiliates have been struggling with ratings since they experimented with a prime time talk show starring Jay Leno. Not only have ratings for that show been poor, it has not served as a good lead-in to local 11pm news broadcasts. That in turn may be one of the reasons that The Tonight Show, hosted by Conan O’Brien, has seen a decline in viewership over previous years. On January 11, 2010, it was announced that Leno’s show has been canceled. It was proposed that Leno host a 30 minute show after the late news and the Tonight Show begin at 12:05am. In a public posting, O’Brien, stated that this is not an acceptable solution because it “will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting.” click here for limerick
January 8, 2010
Like most engaged couples, Andrea Parrish and Peter Geyer, have lots of planning to do in preparation for their July wedding. But unlike most couples, they have the added burdoun of collecting nearly half a million aluminum cans (approximately 5 tons) to fund the wedding! The idea was born at one o’clock in the morning and grew so strong that Andrea could not shake it – saving the planet AND paying for their wedding. You might think that this great number of cans would allow for a wedding at the Ritz but earning roughly thirty seven cents per pound, they expect to net only $4,000 to $5,000. Enough they believe for a potluck wedding with “DIY decorations”, home brewed beer, and “sword-fighting battle”. click here for limerick
January 7, 2010
In Zwingle, Iowa, Dick Kleis wanted to spell out to his wife just how much he loved her. For a birthday surprise, he created a shorthand message meaning “Happy Birthday, Love You,” using 120,000 pounds of manure. According to Kleis, it was easy work because he used “the good, soft, gushy, warm stuff . . . that kind of melts the snow.” What was Carole Kleis’ reaction? She said her husband “dung good.” click here for limerick
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