Star Struck

June 20, 2009

Brussels teen Kimberly Vlaminck has had an awakening of sorts.  She is in the center of an international tattooing story.  She claims she fell asleep in the tattoo parlor and woke to find 56 stars on her face rather than the 3 she requested.  Tattoo artist Rouslan Toumaniantz says she agreed to the higher number and she only balked after her father was displeased.  Kimberly states she is going to have 53 of the stars removed.  click here for limerick

Everyday Is Mother’s Day

June 19, 2009

Since 2003, Irene Prusik collected more than $52,000 in Social Security and $65,000 in city rent subsidies.  Unfortunately the Brooklyn resident was dead.  Her son, Thomas Parkin, allegedly forged her death certificate with an incorrect social security number and proceeded to collect these benefits under her name.  When necessary, Parkin dressed as his mother to renew driver’s licenses.  He even went so far as to impersonate her in a meeting with investigators about a lawsuit initiated by Parkin on behalf of his “mother”.  When he was captured, Parkin stated, “I held my mother when she was dying and breathed in her last breath, so I am my mother.”  He is being held on $1 million bail and could face up to 25 years in jail if convicted.  click here for limerick

On The Fly

June 18, 2009

News agencies and the Internet alike are all abuzz about President Barack Obama’s deadly action . . . against a fly.  During an interview with CNBC correspondent John Harwood, the fly consistently disrupted the duo.  When it lit upon Obama’s left hand he swiftly killed it with his right and then proudly asked, “That was pretty impressive, wasn’t it?  I got the sucker.” He then directed the cameraman to the dead fly on the carpet.  click here for limerick

Boy Wonder

June 17, 2009

The cover of the June 8, 2009 Sports Illustrated magazine featured 16-year-old Bryce Harper.  Harper is said to be an outstanding baseball player for Las Vegas High School.  So outstanding, that cover dubbed him “Baseball’s Chosen One”.  Harper and his father recently announced that he has quit high school to pursue a GED and enter the Major League Baseball Draft in 2010.  He could be the first pick in the draft and be signed for $20 million.  Harper is 6′3”, 205 lbs, hits 570 ft homeruns, pitches at 96 mph, and can throw out a stealing runner from his knees in the position of catcher.  He has been compared to baseball superstars Justin Upton, Ken Griffey Jr, and Alex Rodriguez.  click here for limerick

Marshall, Will and Holly . . . Not Going to the Movies

June 16, 2009

The Hangover exceeded expectations when it grossed $105.4 million in ten days, the first R-rated movie to cross the $100 million mark so quickly.   Costing just over $30 million to make, The Hangover has surprisingly become the date movie of the summer with females comprising about 48% of the audience.  According to Jeff Goldstein of Warner Bros., “To be perfectly honest, we thought this would be a movie for guys.”  Up, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, and Night at the Museum: The Battle of the Smithsonian took second, third, and fourth of the weekend box office grosses.  In fifth place is the Will Ferrell comedy Land of the Lost, which “lost” 51% of its audience since its debut.   click here for limerick

Put a Sock On It

June 15, 2009

MSNBC found it challenging to get ordinary people to discuss the sensitive subject of smelly feet.  When approaching people in a parking lot, they found few folks willing to discuss the matter.  Therefore, they turned to podiatrist, Dr. Mark Letterman.  He explains that nylons, socks that don’t wick away moisture, and certain types of shoes contribute to the problem.  He simplifies this to “the 3 S’s – Sweat, Socks, and Shoes” which can cause bacteria.  The solutions are easy and range from over-the-counter sprays to prescriptions that ease medical conditions like Hyperhidrosis.  click here for limerick

Chicago Has Bank Robbers In Its Site

June 14, 2009

 In this challenging economy, bank robberies are on the rise.  As was reported in USA Today, the city of Chicago is on par to meet or exceed last year’s tally of 227 robberies.  To fight the surge in bank robberies, the FBI, Cook County Sheriff, and Chicago Police unveiled BanditTrackerChicago.com.  This website features a photograph of the suspect, the location of the crime, and the unique characteristics of each robber.  Visitors to the website can post anonymous tips as to the whereabouts of the suspects.  Chicago has a storied history of larger-than-life criminals.  Al Capone set up his headquarters at the Lexington Hotel.  John Dillinger, subject of the upcoming Johnny Depp release Public Enemies, robbed banks throughout the Midwest, changed his identity and moved to Chicago.  In 1934, Dillinger was cornered by police outside a Chicago movie theatre and gunned down.  click here for limerick

Freefalling

June 13, 2009

On Friday, June 12, 2009, Former President George H.W. Bush celebrated his 85th birthday by skydiving 10,500 feet out of a plane.  This follows a tradition he set when he turned 75 and again on his 80th birthday.  Tandem jumping with Sgt. First Class Mike Elliott, reports are that Bush zoomed at a 100 mph freefall before safely parachuting to the ground in Kennebunkport, Maine.  Bush’s son, George W. Bush was the 43rd President of the United States from 2001 to 2009.  The younger Bush received unprecedented approval ratings of 90% immediately following the 9/11 tragedy.  After that point, his approval ratings went into permanent decline, bottoming out at approximately 25% during the economic crisis.  click here for limerick

He’s a Real Head Banger!

June 12, 2009

1980’s rock star and current reality television staple, Bret Michaels is angry at the representatives of the Tony Awards.  While performing with his band Poison and the Broadway cast of Rock of Ages at this past Sunday’s live show, he was hit by a piece of scenery as it was being moved into place.  He appears to have suffered a broken nose and split lip, but he states that “the full extent of his injuries” has not yet been determined.  He issued a press release strongly criticizing the Tony’s for not expressing concern for his condition, He stated, “I feel had this incident happened to Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton, or Elton John, the Tony’s would have at least issued a letter of concern.”  click here for limerick

New “Wave” Marketing

June 11, 2009

 Al Marino, a Michigan pizzeria owner, is introducing a new restaurant feature this summer.  His chain, Sam’s Sorrento Pizza, inaugurated the “SS Pizza“, a pontoon boat equipped with a kitchen and an oven on Lake St. Clair.  The SS Pizza offers food services like pizza, chicken wings, and burgers.  Boaters can pull up to the SS Pizza or deliveries will be made with small dingy-sized boats.   click here for limerick

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