April 20, 2009
NASA recently launched an opportunity for people to vote on the name for a new International Space Station module. The agency provided a few options and then a blank where voters could submit their own suggestion, though NASA would make the final decision. Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert encouraged fans to submit his name and NASA announced “Colbert” was the top vote receiver. Last week astronaut Sunita Williams appeared on Colbert Nation and announced the new module would be named “Tranquility” in honor of the 40th anniversary of Apollo 11 landing on the moon’s Sea of Tranquility. Williams then surprised fans by stating that the space station will include a Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill (acronym COLBERT).
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April 19, 2009
This week, the New York Yankees opened their new $1.5 billion baseball stadium. The former stadium was affectionately referred to as, “The House That Ruth Built” in honor of Babe Ruth. On opening day, April 18, 1923, Ruth hit a 3-run homerun against his former team, the Boston Red Sox to win the game. On opening day in 2009, that bat was laid across home plate to bless the new stadium. It did not help as the Yankees lost that game 10-2. On Saturday, April 18, 2009, during the 3rd game at the new stadium, the Cleveland Indians scored 14 runs in the second inning and won the game by a score of 22-4. In roughly 193,000 major league baseball games, a 14-run second inning has not occurred . . . until now.
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April 18, 2009
President Obama announced that the Federal Government will purchase 17,600 new, American-made fuel- efficient cars at an expected cost of $285 million. It is expected that this will reduce the government’s consumption of gas by 1.3 million gallons per year. In addition it will prevent 26 million pounds of carbon dioxide from being released into the atmosphere.
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April 17, 2009
A New York bank robber in Central Islip, Long Island had a two-year track record of robbing banks without getting caught. The secret to his success were his many chapeaus. For every robbery he wore something different on his head. Sometimes it was a fedora, other times a black hat traditionally worn by Orthodox Jews, and he even wore a turban. However, it all came undone when a band-aid fell off during one of the robberies and the police used the DNA to track him down.
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April 16, 2009
An highway accident in Elkridge, Maryland involved a pickup truck and a Loomis armored truck. Reports are the pickup truck, which was towing a utility trailer, pulled in front of the armored truck. In response, the armored truck took evasive action and wound up overturning on the highway . . . spilling thousands of dollars worth of quarters over the lanes. It took highway clean-up crews the better part of the morning and early afternoon to clean up the mess.
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April 15, 2009
Happy tax day everyone! While you’re running out to get your paperwork postmarked before midnight, here’s a limerick about the fine, upstanding citizens who paid their (back) taxes this year. Ha ha. To refresh your memory about Geithner and Solis, check out the February 6, 2009 Daily Limerick, Taxing Issues for Obama.
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April 14, 2009
Last month police entered a Fairfield, Connecticut home and found a man, with several bite marks on his arms and torso, handcuffed to his wife. Robert Drawbaugh told Helen Sun, his wife of seven years, that he wanted to separate. In a desperate measure to reconcile, Sun handcuffed herself to him claiming it was the only way to get him to talk to her. Following the incident, Drawbaugh filed for divorce citing his marriage had “broken down irretrievably.”
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April 13, 2009
In Centennial, Colorado, Kelley Coffman-Lee uses her SUV to express her opinions. Vegan stickers adorn her tailgate, key locks, and bumper. But when she tried to use her license plate to express her love of tofu, the DMV rejected her application. She wanted the license plate to read “ILVTOFU” and in the DMV’s opinion, it could be misread and interpreted to be something more pornographic.
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April 12, 2009
On Monday, April 6, 2009, as the Boston Red Sox prepared for their home opener at Fenway Park, they noticed something was missing – Heinz Ketchup. The delivery they expected that morning, 996 bottles, valued at $43,000 had not arrived. When the distributor was notified, the police were brought in and they discovered the truck stashed at a truck stop in Baxter, TN. The driver, Christopher G. Kindle, stated he was disgruntled with the management of the trucking company. In the end, Mother Nature took care of the situation by causing the home opener to be rained out and allowing enough time for the delivery to “catch up”.
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April 11, 2009
It was reported by CNN, that Disney has cut 1,900 jobs since mid-February. Among the cuts were 900 salaried jobs in Orlando and the elimination of 700 open positions. In addition Disneyland and Disney World are combining operations and restructuring. Even the Disney Cruise Lines and Vacation Club have been forced to lay off people with decades of experience.
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